Worthless
by JonasBrosCrazii
Summary: Jonas Brothers - Nick centered - No summary yet, put please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

He's just lying in bed, starring at the ceiling. Thinking of the incident. Why? Why did God have to punish him like that? He never did anything wrong…Did he?

He gets up to go to the bathroom but stops when he hears voices out in the hallway. He knows its wrong to eavesdrop, but decides to do it anyway. He puts his ear up to the door.

"I'm really scared for him. I mean, he's blocked us out and haven't you noticed that he barely ever eats anymore?!" The first one says.

"I know, I know," The other one says. "But the best we can do for him is comfort him when he needs it. Just give him some time."

"But it's been over a year!"

"Look, we don't know everything that happened. He's probably in a lot more pain than he let on. You know how he is."

The first one sighs. "Yeah…well…I guess you're right. I'm going to head off to bed now. I love you."

"I love you too bro. Sleep well."

He hears footsteps, so he's guessing everyone is heading back their rooms. He begins to feel guilty about not telling his brothers, but he's sure they'll hate him, and most likely disown him.

When he's sure, no one can hear his footsteps; he walks to the bathroom and closes the door as softly as he can.

He looks at the broken boy starring back at him as he stands in front the mirror. His normally young, glowing face is now pale white and full of pain. His ribs are clearly visible underneath all the blue, black and purple bruises layered across his chest. He slowly glances over at the long red scars on both his arms. He frowns and runs his hand up and down, the horrible memories.

His usually deep brown, chocolate eyes are now black and filled to the brim with tears, trying to stop them from falling. However, no luck is found as he sees large, salty tears making their way down both his cheeks.

He slowly raised his right hand to wipe away the tears, but is now frustrated as they just keep falling.

He sniffles slightly. "Pathetic." He says to himself. "I deserved it, he's right. I can't deny it."

He falls to the ground with a small "thud" and pulls his knees pulled tightly to his chest. He's quite surprised no one can hear is heart wrenching sobs. "Keep it together. Keep it together." He whispers to himself. He can't let them see him like this. He just knows he can't. His hands quickly shoot up to hold is head when he starts to feel dizzy. The whole world is spinning and he just can't seem to focus.

When he focuses, he finds himself gripping the sides of toilet bowl tightly, pouring his heart out. It takes minutes before he's able to stand up, using the vanity as a support.

He quietly tiptoes back into his room, leaning on the wall the entire time, and collapses onto his bed. He clutches the large teddy bear his brother had won for him when they were younger. For the first time in over a year, he smiles. Not a fake smile, but one that really reaches his eyes. But the smile is soon replaced with an even bigger frown as he begins shedding tears.

Tears for himself, tears for his parents, and most importantly, tears for his best friends; his brothers. He's sobbing now and closes his eyes, attempting to take deep breaths, but it doesn't work.

And for the 404th day in a row…

He cries himself to sleep.

I'm all alone tonight,  
No stars are shining on me  
I'm thinkin' I'd be alright  
If somebody would just call me, yeah

I know that I'm not crazy,  
Everybody must get this way, sometimes  
So look around,  
For the people in your life that say

Save Me  
I need somebody's help here  
Thought it would be alright but  
I'm not pullin' through on my own  
Is anyone around who can Save Me  
I'm fallin' down it's crazy  
If this is the pain God gave me,  
I'm cool with that,  
But wont somebody Save Me

I guess you missed the signs,  
But honey I can never blame you  
I don't want ya feelin' guilty,  
that'd keep you in pain too (oooooh)

Now I can't hear you when I'm far away, away  
So maybe you could learn from this,  
And help somebody else someday

Cause I'm human after all  
And I could not catch my fall  
And nobody ever came around my way  
to check up on me and see if I was doin' alright  
Nobody came to Save Me

Save Me  
I need somebody's help here  
Thought it would be alright but  
I'm not pullin' through on my own  
Is anyone around who can Save Me  
I'm fallin' down it's crazy  
If this is the pain God gave me,  
I'm cool with that,  
But wont somebody Save Me

Save Me from my demons  
Save Me from myself  
Save Me, somebody Save Me  
I need someones help

(ooooooooooooh)

Save Me  
I need somebody's help here  
Thought it would be alright but  
I'm not pullin' through on my own  
Is anyone around who can Save Me  
I'm fallin' down it's crazy  
If this is the pain God gave me,  
I'm cool with that,  
But wont somebody Save Me (wont somebody save me)

Save Me  
I need somebody's help here  
Thought it would be alright but  
I'm not pullin' through on my own  
Is anyone around who can Save Me  
I'm fallin' down it's crazy  
If this is the pain God gave me,  
I'm cool with that,  
But wont somebody Save Me

(ooooooh)

A/N Sorry that was horrible. Please give me some constructive criticism, or compliments if you liked it. I'm still wondering if I should continue or not. And.....Should I make it present tense or past tense, and would you like to see more than just this persons POV? Please let me know. (The song is Save Me by Jordin Sparks , just so you all know)


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning brings a thunderstorm; just the way he likes it. His stomach growls loudly, but he ignores it. "I don't deserve to eat. I don't deserve to eat." He whispers to himself. He's worthless. It surprises him that his family still loves, him…He hates himself.

He skips breakfast with his family… Again. Instead, he lies on his bed all alone facing the ceiling, and plugs his headphones into his ears. He scrolls down his list and decides on his favourite song, Wake up Alone by Amy Whinehouse. He then, every so slightly, begins to sing along.

It's okay in the day I'm staying busy  
Tied up enough so I don't have to wonder where is he  
Got so sick of crying  
So just lately  
When I catch myself I do a 180  
I stay up clean the house  
At least I'm not drinking  
Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking  
That silent sense of content  
That everyone gets  
Just disappears soon as the sun sets

This face in my dreams seizes my guts  
He floods me with dread  
Soaked in soul  
He swims in my eyes by the bed  
Pour myself over him  
Moon spilling in  
And I wake up alone

If I was my heart  
I'd rather be restless  
The second I stop the sleep catches up and I'm breathless  
This ache in my chest  
As my day is done now  
The dark covers me and I cannot run now  
My blood running cold  
I stand before him  
It's all I can do to assure him  
When he comes to me  
I drip for him tonight  
Drowning in me we bathe under blue light

He sighs and notices some stray tears rolling down his cheeks. He wipes them away quickly and takes his headphones out. He then puts his Ipod away and clutches back onto that same teddy bear he had gotten from his brother. Seconds after, he falls asleep.

He wakes up and notices the clock says 3:46 p.m. He had slept that long? Wow. That never happens.

He stretches and walks over to his closet, deciding what to wear today. He chooses black skinny jeans with a dark blue shirt, and a bright red sweatshirt.

He changes and walks downstairs to see all three of his brothers watching TV. He quietly walks to the kitchen, in attempt to avoid any questioning. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. Joe turns around and looks at him sympathetically.

"Umm, there's still a few pancakes on the counter it you want." He says quietly. Almost like he's… afraid?

He looks at Joe for a second before turning to walk out the front door. He feels something come in contact with his shoulder and turns around to see Kevin's hand placed firmly on it.

"You really shouldn't be going out in this weather." He says worriedly. "You'll get sick. You're not even wearing a coat!"

He laughs bitterly. It's not like he cares. No one should. You know why? Because he's fucking worthless. He'll be glad if he does get sick.

He shrugs Kevin's hand off his shoulder and walks outside, down the middle of the street.

He stops walking when he comes to a puddle. He looks down to see his horrible reflection starring back at him. He's completely disgusted in himself.

__________________

He's very wrapped up in putting himself down and beating himself up about 'the incident.' What he doesn't hear, is his brother yell his name. And he doesn't see the large garbage truck speeding down the lane, towards him. And everything happens in slow motion.

__________________

His body hits the ground with a loud 'Crack!,' Bones breaking on contact.

His body feels as though it's on fire, his vision blurry. He can barely make out the 3 figures standing above him. Their faces make him want to die at that very moment. Their filled with sadness and agony, salty tears mixed in with the heavy rain, stinging his already burning body.

He tilts his head slightly to one side. There's blood. Too much blood. And he's lying in a large puddle of his own.

He can tell he's dying quickly, his life rapidly fading away with every passing second.

But he doesn't care. No one should. And he cries.

Because,

He's worthless.

The end : ) The songs are 'Save Me' by Jordin Sparks and 'Wake Up Alone' by Amy Whinehouse. Please Review!!


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